Choosing yourself before anyone else
Worrying what will happen if you decide to choose you before him?
Racing thoughts of "I can't do it" "What if I make a mistake" "What if I end up letting go of what could possibly be better in the next few months" "What if I never find love again" "What if, what if, what if"
I think the MORE important questions to be asking yourself my love are "How long has it been since I've been feeling uneasy" How long has it been since promises have been made, but no action or follow through" "How much longer am I going to settle and accept less than I truly want and need" "How much longer am I going to ignore my gut feelings of this isn't who I am and what I want"
I understand the fear and anxiety you may feel around making the wrong decision to stay or leave this relationship, I really do. This was a situation I found myself in multiple times as well. The stress and agony it caused me was torturous. I wasn't able to focus on taking care of my health, work or even being a good friend. It was so mind and time consuming not knowing whether or not to stay and wait to see what would happen over time, or to do what was best for myself. I felt I was being selfish if I chose my happiness and needs over another.
But what I eventually learned from my coach and the exercises she had me work through was that I wasn't doing any good for myself or anyone else if I was constantly living in self-doubt, emotion suppression and in fear. Me living and feeling this way day after day was only adding more frustration, dysfunction and sadness to the equation for all parties involved...my boyfriend, friends, family and ME.
Because I was settling for less than I wanted in love, it was affecting my performance and responsibility at work, me taking care of my physical health; I was eating junk food and A LOT of it and skipping workouts, I ended up gaining 20 pounds. I was isolating myself from friends and family and I wasn't my normal motivated and excited about life and opportunity self anymore. I was changing both physically and emotionally for the worst. I was turning into someone I didn't even recognize or want to see in the mirror, and that was fucking scary!
Fast forward 5 years later to today, I can now say I am a woman living life on MY terms without apology, and with the most zest for life I've ever felt! After enlisting help from a beautiful soul, my life coach Christine 5 years ago, I've been able to create and do for myself what I've always feared I would fail in.
I've met my DREAM partner who will be my husband next month in March, bought a home together (a desire of ours is to make a baby much sooner than later- so send us good vibes, juju and energy please😊🙏). Been able to travel the world every quarter for the last 3 years with my love, lost the 20 pounds and have kept it off and one of my FAV's of all is creating a career around my passion and purpose of helping women JUST LIKE YOU build and create a life on YOUR terms as well.
If this post resonates and speaks to you truly and loudly, this is your sign and message of your prayer being answered. Reach out to me, I can help! I've been coaching women on this deep inner work process for the past 4 years in 'A Confident Woman Unleashed' my 90 day signature program www.aconfidentwomanunleashed.com.
Book in a FREE 30 minute Clarity Call http://bit.ly/nikkiclaritycall to learn more on what your next steps are in creating the relationship and life of your DREAMS. It's 100% possible for YOU too, promise! Book with me today http://bit.ly/nikkiclaritycall. 😘💛💥